oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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