You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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