Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
