I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
