What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
