My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Its about making memories worth repressing
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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