that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
