Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
