were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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