You just made me feel so damn special
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
