i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
