I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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