In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
