Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
