is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Small penises have feelings too.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
