wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
So much Jack, so little girl.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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