I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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