if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
A+ Viking dick
Randomize
