Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
