i want to fuck
it's pretty self explanatory
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
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I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
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Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.