The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
God has nothing to do with this.