why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
