i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Success! We fucked roommates!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
