no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Sober January is a disaster.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
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