after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
