are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
