new low.... made out with someone while peeing
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
