My sheets look like a crime scene.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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