I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
