My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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