I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
