dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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