that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
