i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
