She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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