I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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