He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
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We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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