i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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