Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
