Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I think people are normalizing furries
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
