and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
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His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
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I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often