doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(