Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.