I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
