hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
