wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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