I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
dude. I can hear the air.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
