But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
