They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Randomize
