i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
