their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I would fuck him just for his dog
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
