I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I will die if light touches me.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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