Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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