i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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