Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
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