He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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