No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
