His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize