Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
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the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
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Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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