Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
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I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
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I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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