I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
