Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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