I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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