I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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