go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
