we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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