the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
