It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I believe in your delicious
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize