If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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